On the cat metaphor, worse - the box isn’t actually sealed. The cat is mad at us for putting it in a box and it’ll use those same implements of death on us when it gets its chance. This isn’t at all to say we should seal the box (read, “secure our borders”) but to amplify your point of how silly it is to make these implements in the first place, let alone distribute them widely. Have you seen the excellent documentary “Why We Fight”?
I think the first part of your essay about seeing all your far flung friends makes a compelling argument that it's actually the opposite case -- intimacy without proximity is much harder than proximity without intimacy!
damn that’s it! I was thinking something along the lines of: intimacy necessitates proximity (and it fed by proximity). So when people lack intimate relationships — and I don’t mean just romantic — a place to look is how they spend their time, who is near them, how their lives intersect, and what it would require to have more proximity with people over and over (ahem, variations on group living, in and out of the house!). But you’re pointing to something different and very interesting to me as well! The idea that when you are intimate with a friend and you are at a distance to each other, it’s painful. I’m here to say: truth!
Oh also -- compelled to comment that as someone who grew up in Oregon I've never ONCE heard of the"Portland freeze". My parents had an easier time making friends in Oregon than they ever have in 20+ years in Ohio.
Is it maybe a product of transplant culture that's then being observed by subsequent transplants? (Picturing all the isolationist New Yorkers moving to a supposedly friendlier place and then being confused that they're being unfriendly to one another 😆)
Based on reading the comments on the AHP post, the freeze is in Denver! Ice cold over there in the Rockies. Portland is just grey and wet but we're all up in each other's business!
Hmm… “living in proximity with others without intimacy is a living hell”. As if humans can’t interact closely together just as friends and collaborators. While intimacy may be an outcome of living in close quarters it can also change the dynamic, sometimes with positive and also with negative outcomes. Boundaries and good communication key to co-living success.
I really want to comment yet don't know what I want to say other than that what you write so resonates with what I feel and experience. I feel "at home" with your spirit and nature. Thank you!
Now I am going out to view the northern lights! Then go to local book store and order your book!
On the cat metaphor, worse - the box isn’t actually sealed. The cat is mad at us for putting it in a box and it’ll use those same implements of death on us when it gets its chance. This isn’t at all to say we should seal the box (read, “secure our borders”) but to amplify your point of how silly it is to make these implements in the first place, let alone distribute them widely. Have you seen the excellent documentary “Why We Fight”?
I haven’t seen it! I will look for it!
I think the first part of your essay about seeing all your far flung friends makes a compelling argument that it's actually the opposite case -- intimacy without proximity is much harder than proximity without intimacy!
damn that’s it! I was thinking something along the lines of: intimacy necessitates proximity (and it fed by proximity). So when people lack intimate relationships — and I don’t mean just romantic — a place to look is how they spend their time, who is near them, how their lives intersect, and what it would require to have more proximity with people over and over (ahem, variations on group living, in and out of the house!). But you’re pointing to something different and very interesting to me as well! The idea that when you are intimate with a friend and you are at a distance to each other, it’s painful. I’m here to say: truth!
Yes to what you're saying, too!! the magic equation to building closeness is = proximity + commitment
Oh also -- compelled to comment that as someone who grew up in Oregon I've never ONCE heard of the"Portland freeze". My parents had an easier time making friends in Oregon than they ever have in 20+ years in Ohio.
Is it maybe a product of transplant culture that's then being observed by subsequent transplants? (Picturing all the isolationist New Yorkers moving to a supposedly friendlier place and then being confused that they're being unfriendly to one another 😆)
Based on reading the comments on the AHP post, the freeze is in Denver! Ice cold over there in the Rockies. Portland is just grey and wet but we're all up in each other's business!
Hmm… “living in proximity with others without intimacy is a living hell”. As if humans can’t interact closely together just as friends and collaborators. While intimacy may be an outcome of living in close quarters it can also change the dynamic, sometimes with positive and also with negative outcomes. Boundaries and good communication key to co-living success.
I really want to comment yet don't know what I want to say other than that what you write so resonates with what I feel and experience. I feel "at home" with your spirit and nature. Thank you!
Now I am going out to view the northern lights! Then go to local book store and order your book!