What about when everything happens at once

Reflections on the Umi fire and the immanent publication of Group Living and Other Recipes

Jul 31, 2024

On June 24 in the late afternoon, my colleague Stephen pointed out the window and told me there was a fire on the freeway. I turned and saw a plume of black smoke several stories high. I knew instantly that it wasn’t on the freeway; it was at the facility where we manufactured Umi noodles, two blocks from our office. In that instant, I lost touch with gravity. My stomach floated into my chest. All the blood evacuated my brain. I became desperate to know only one thing: Was everyone safe?

Quickly, we learned they were.

I barely remember the days that followed. On Wednesday, I received finished hard bound copies of my book, Group Living and Other Recipes. I was too overwhelmed and emotionally spent to open them. I cooked lentils while my boyfriend Corey told me what was happening in the NBA draft.

The following Monday, I got COVID, both because it was spreading rampantly around Portland and also, probably, because my immune system was trash. July Fourth came and went, although that’s not totally true. I wore a mask while my friends Tony and Stef, who were staying with us at the Holman House, made pizzas. We celebrated the invention of the Caesar Salad in Tijuana on July 4, 1924, 100 years ago!

The heartbreak didn’t arrive for several weeks. To be honest, I’m still not done processing it. It’s intermingling too powerfully with heartbreaks in the world. We haven’t decided exactly what we want to do. We haven’t gotten our insurance settlement. We are gestating in goo.

It’s uncommon to write during times of uncertainty like this. That said, I have made some big decisions, one of which is to take this moment to experience the release of my first book—to be with it and in it and feel blazed by it without inviting in guilt for all I’m setting aside.

Until recently, I wasn’t very honest with myself about my desire to write a book. Even after working hard to find a publisher and spending all my spare time writing, it took stumbling onto a box of keepsakes with this author bio of a 3rd grade haiku specialist to realize I’d been yearning for this for a long time.

Now, here we are. The official publication date (or shall we call it a birthday?) of Group Living and Other Recipes is Tuesday, August 6 (six days from now!).

What is Group Living and Other Recipes? It’s being categorized as a memoir, but I never imagined it that way. I dreamed of it as an exploration of the idea of communal living through various peep holes. My life is one of them, but it’s not the only one! Tricks abound.

Here are things I do know about my book:

I felt catharsis writing about people I love with honesty and humor.
I didn’t understand how my household functioned until I started writing about it. Despite all the petty grievances I unearthed, writing about our unusual rhythms helped me fall in love with the people in my life all over again.
I don’t think group living is for everyone, nor a panacea that’s going to save humanity. I do believe we have a lot of stigmas to dismantle, and the nuclear family, American exceptionalism, individualism, and wealth creation through private property are among them.
Working with my editor, Joey McGarvey, was an incredible honor. From the beginning, her guidance was revelatory. I’m also overjoyed to be working with the staff at Spiegel & Grau.
Up until this moment, having people actually read this book seemed terrifying. Now that it’s happening, it feels exciting!

I’m on some kind of precipice. So here’s my request to you: Can we hold hands!

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